how to save a life
by nesshaw
Summary: He might not be the brightest star in the night sky, but it's just a matter of distance between the world and him. / Or Regulus, realization, and his final moment.


**__****competition:** _The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, round eight. written for seeker_

_**words count: **950-i think that's the minimum number that's tolerated?  
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**_disclaimer_**_: disclaimed_

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He might not be the brightest star in the night sky, but it's just a matter of distance between the world and him. He has a theory that Sirius has a grasp of world better than anyone in the family because he's the closest one, but a hypothesis without experimentation can't be called a theory. Furthermore, his brother is the first Sirius who thinks differently from the others, so Regulus settles down on the opinion that Sirius sees one thing and realises everything while the rest of them look at everything, but only see one thing.

He is still the star that burns fiercely with ambition, goal, and regrets that weigh his young shoulder down and the more he ignites, the faster he runs out of energy that's keeping him alive.

He knows when humans see a falling star, it's already years since it exploded, and that they'll never know which star has run out of its fuel.

There's an irony in it, he supposes, since his family has tried to leave as many marks as possible in this world, but in the end no one really knows who they really are. Regulus is loyal to the core when it comes to family, no one should ever doubt it. What he has decided could disgrace the Black family should anyone ever find out, but the chance is unlikely.

xxx

Regulus Black is too late to realise his mistakes, too young to die.

There are casualties of war, some of them are remembered, most of them forgotten. He's the latter and he's not as strong as he thinks he is. How could one be ready for their end in spite of knowing when it's coming?

He leaves something of him in his accomplishment, a simple acronym, but a mark nonetheless because the feel of being forgotten and the fact he's merely a human who worth nothing compared to the scale of universe are too much for him to handle.

Still, he aims for a supernova; a remarkable explosion that alights the whole galaxy, chasing the darkness away.

xxx

The weight of the world becomes heavier that drains the youth of him. He realises he's crying and thinks his midnight hair might have turned grey, but he's lost the energy to even care about what's happening around him while he drinks the strongest poison that ever exists in the world. The pain that he feels is increasing and he begs for it to stop because there's no way a heart can receive such intense agony and not explode in the process.

There are memories of the past and unhappiness that he has shoved under a rug he's just tripped over. The fall is harder than he has experienced, breaking a bone or two that he can no longer get up.

_I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry please please please forgive me brother I'm sorry save me save me I'm sorry I'm sorry_

He sinks to the ground as the last drop of the horrible potion went down his throat, panting. He feels dehydrated and croaks for water. Kreacher, who has been watching his master with horror and worry, takes the flask from his hand and tries to fill it out with the river water. It's a mistake, one thing that Regulus should have realised before, as three inferni appears on the surface.

"Kreacher," he says weakly, "listen to me. Take the locket home and destroy it. Keep it secret from anyone. Burn it. Whatever it takes. Leave me here and don't say anything about today, please. Thank you for everything."

He doesn't resist when the inferi drag him down and deeper until he can't really tell where is up or down. The water is unsurprisingly cold, freezing every pore of his skin and it enters his lungs like a force of waterfall. A new wave of pain seizes him. He has never been more afraid and desperate and helpless in his life. Avada Kadavra seems a lot quicker and less tormenting.

He might choose the most painful way to die and he would think it's his way to try to redeem himself, but no one really thinks about something good they've done when they are dying. No, they would be thinking about regrets and bad life choices and begging for a second chance like he is.

They say life flashes before their eyes before they die. He sees his brother in his glory, long black hair and stormy grey eyes that are so like his, called him a coward when he ended their duel and intended to retreat, leaving his brother bleeding but alive. Years, he has tried to prove his brother wrong, that he's as brave as he is although they don't see eye to eye about many things. It's not even about right or wrong anymore, no, it's about the fact that his brother can be really stubborn to accept something that someday this trait of his will come and bite him back in the arse.

After all this time, he has to admit that Sirius was…_is _a person both he hates and respects so much. He often wonders if Sirius ever realises that beneath all the bravado and heroic tendencies, his prejudice can go overboard which makes him a _Black _still. Perhaps, if there was another time or chance, he would like to have a long nice chat with his lost brother.

Today's event is his one and only opportunity, he grabs it without a second thought. There's no one to witness his change of heart aside from Kreacher and he doubts Sirius will ever find out, but the thought of having done something good for the world is enough. It's enough.


End file.
